is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
