This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How does it feel to date your dad?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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