So drunk its hurt
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
