i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
