Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Randomize
