My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
