I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
