I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
