I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
