u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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