Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
