I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
