The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
