Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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