I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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