i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My cat gives me a boner
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
