ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
