Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
