It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
