my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
