Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
