I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Randomize
