the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
