your parents love me but you hate me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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