Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
