do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
