Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
