The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
