awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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