bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So vagazzling was a success
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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