no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
