T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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