I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can I color on your dick again?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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