So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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