Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
