what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
