I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
