why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
my poor anus
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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