Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
