i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
