I want to have your abortion
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
