he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
