Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
