dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your penis caused this!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
