420 ftw
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
