oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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