felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
