I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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