I'm eating all of the evidence.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
