You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
